Oh the hypocrisy

I haven't posted since I quit my job, now that I have all this time I'm obviously too busy to get on and post, rude.

Anyway, sad day: I had to take back my ipod touch. And because I was so mad at it, it freakin gave me problems from day ONE, I told the lady I didn't want a new ipod touch, I wanted just a simple IPod. So I took it back and got an IPod classic, 160 GB ftw, and saved fifty bucks, but now I miss my IPod touch. IT HAD FACEBOOK ON IT, I pretty much forgot what a computer was because it had so many freaking amazing apps on it.

Well I'm just going to have to man up because I couldn't take the IPod touch with me into the mission field anyways. But I can take this new, less cool, IPod though. Whatevs. I'm turning my life over to the Lord and all that jazz. Just kidding I'm totally serious about being spiritual and stuff. Anyway, have a great week!

Failing at life

I feel like I'm failing at life right now. I'm trying to accomplish three things.

Lose weight.
Prepare for the mission.
Finish your life here and don't screw up.

I'm failing at all three.

I'm not preparing for the mission as well as I wish I was.
I'm NOT losing weight.
And even though I haven't technically screwed anything up I'm not succeeding and that generally feels the same as screwing things up. AND I can't write to save my life. I have things I want to say but I just can't. I can't write happiness. I think I said that in my first blog. I'm just not good at it. The warmth that comes from happiness never seems to spread to paper/computer screens.

Fail.

Sucks.

 Lame.

AND Mumford and Sons is coming on Friday and I'm not even as excited as I could be because I'm going alone. That's embarrassing. But I'm still going. Cause...well cause It's Mumford and Sons. I'm not going to throw that goodness away.

Nothing. And Romance.

I want music. But good music. Music that speaks to your blood. That makes your heart race and your toes curl. That caresses your skin and tells you fairy tales of men and places, people and feelings. That takes you through an entire story and at the end says "You've been here before." I want that kind of music. And I'm not finding it. I'm stuff about front seats and back seats. What my name is. Who my doctor is. How someones boyfriend is an alien. How the world is ending...but we are going to just keep on dancing. It's getting ridiculous. But what this is really about is my dream last night. My naked dream. But not in a bad way. I was totally aware of it. Some guy friends came by and I was all naky and they were like "Want to go to the store?" And I was like "Guys I'm naked." And they were like "Dude! We were thinking about going to the store naked too!" And it was decided. I would go to the store naked. And we walked. And I was holding a baby blanket, that was not covering the goods, and a lawn chair. Odd. And we were like, heading to Vons and I was totally cool with me being naked. Until I saw the bus full of children and my morals kicked in and I was like "Oh crap schools out. Guys I can't be naked in front of kids." And I was suddenly self conscious that they had clothes on and I didn't. And they were cool with it. They just shrugged and we turned around and I glided home on my cool lawn chair. And then something else happened after that. I think we went to...a theme park? Idk I just had clothes on in that part of the dream. Weird. My other dream, which I think is a total sign, was of a zombie apocolypse. And I was rockin it. And Preston W. was there. And he was not rockin it. He kept letting infected people in. I don't care if it's your gf she ain't coming in our makeshift hut! Gah! So frustrating. But yeah, I was taking down some peeps. On the for reals. Just come to my house when the Zombie apocolypse happens. It's cool.

Big happy smiley happy face

So I noticed going through my posts that I'm kind of a downer. Or maybe just that last post was super ridiculously sad and bitter so here comes a super happy happiness post. My broham (Charles) plays lacrosse and his team has been winning but wait for it....last game he scored FIVE of the...I think TEN POINTS. What what?!?! Yeah, the only athletic Hanshew. Represent. My mish. What what?!?! Yeah. Oklahoma better be ready! Cause I know I am. The fam bam. Craziness cuteness pie. They want to throw a going away party for me. Three months before I leave. The idea still makes me laugh. I think I'm holding them back pretty well though. I keep telling them I have ZERO friends. They laugh at that and say 'Then it can be a family party." Sweet. Work. Suck. Skip. Books. Yeah! I can read! And I love it! Succession of three days off. Yeah. Have to take it. Whatevs. Maybe I will go back to D Land. Yes ma'am. Running....you suck, skipping as well. Clothes. Oh what up?!?! I don't know how to dress for Oklahoma. It's kind of embarrassing. Whatevs they're all hillbillies down there anyway. I'll fit right in. Um....that is all.....at least on the happiness scale. I'm just a flurry of all things emotional. Cool. Keep it real people. Keep. It. Real.

One flew over the cuckoos nest

Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy.
And some days I feel like I'm the only sane person in the world.
And then there are days where I feel like everyone is crazy and all you can do is manuever your own craziness.
And then theres today.

Today is just a timecapsle of wth? People. You're the spice of life. I got it. But seriously, can't you just leave me alone? I don't want to deal with people, or see people, or hear about people, or have to talk to people. I'm tired of people.

Not all people obviously. My boss=superman. He's amazing. It's ridiculous.
My mom=Called me 'cool' yesterday. Actually I believe she said I was 'so cool'. I don't think anyone has ever just come out and said I was cool. It was kind of magical.
My fam=spice of life. My life at least.

But everyone else can go the heck away. On the serious. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of dramatics. I'm tired of craziness (especially if it isn't my OWN). I'm tired of manuevering around being nice and politically correct, or even socially correct, or even just correct. I don't want to be hurt that someone isn't talking to me. Or they're angry because I didn't talk to them as much as I did to someone else. Or simply because I was there.

HOW DO THE PEOPLE OF JERSEY SHORE DO IT?!?!?!?!

I wish I had a bunch of guy friends because honestly...they're so much better. Women are dramatic and crazy. Men keep it so black and white. And it stays that way with them. You never have to wonder if someone isn't talking to you because something that they said was about you and suddenly you have to wonder what you did that made them mad. No. If a guy isn't talking to you it's simply because he's busy. Or has nothing to talk about. It's amazing.

So please Tuesday, get uncrazy and awesome. For me. Thanks.