Happy Post

Good times to be had by all!

Actually not so much. If these past two years have taught me anything it's this: Life often sucks. Hard. So with that in mind I would also like to state this: It also rocks. Hard.

And it's how we keep these two from getting too out of hand that I want to speak on tonight.

Suckiness goes first:
I have seriously dated ONE man. One. I'm twenty years old.
The total number of dates I have been on in MY LIFE I can count on TWO hands. Only two (and for you slow folks out there it's less then ten [or maybe about ten, I wasn't thinking it was going to become this big of an issue so I never kept track. but it isn't a whole lot])
I had ONE best friend in high school, like straight soul mate status, and she left directly after high school and I had ZERO friends for almost two years (That would be how my sister and I became so close)
I hated school and decided college was not for me (I no longer stand by that idea for anyone looking for some solid life lessons)
I found an amazing job and work for amazing people but strongly dislike law (I also SUCK at it) and let me tell you when work is the only thing you have going in your life when you aren't good at it you might as well go and kill yourself. Cause you feel about that good.

Now you might be saying "Goll Kayla, your life isn't that bad." And you would be right. I had a job, period, I lived with my family and no bills, period. But I felt that I was hating myself and my life more often than not and that quickly can lead to allot of things ie. drugs, alcohol, depression, suicide, theatre. And I didn't want any of those things so I did something else and here it comes:

The FIX ALL:
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
So easy, doesn't even take up a whole line.

Now this fix it isn't easy (hardly) but it is the only one that works. I found very quickly that even though I had people in my life that love me, you know who you are, they had lives and problems of their own and couldn't sit and baby me while I was having a hard time, it's all good, you're forgiven. But there was someone there that could and would and still will: Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. And sometimes they were the only ones that wanted to hear about how I saw a guy who was so cute and we could so have cute babies and how I wanted to be married and how I was made for so many good things and why was I fat and why didn't men like me and did people lie when they said I was funny cause no guy seems to like me?

And I cried alot. A LOT. But I made it through, and it turned out to be a huge growing experience and I'm...stronger...oddly enough. I look at women now and yes I understand their desire to have a man but I can also say "Learn. Take this time to see more deeply what you want, and to appreciate a man for what he truly will be and to see what you will be. And just grow."

OH and my other tip: Laugh. Often, and hard. Sometimes that was the only thing that kept me from getting all emotional and crazy cutter lady on people. It works.

And in case my words have given you nothing to think about/suck I leave you with this amazing quote:
"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea."
--Isak Dinesen
 
And I completely stand by that. Have a happy week all.