My Blessed Life

I have noticed, especially as of late, that I don't write as well when I am happy. And I find that not only frustrating but down right rude! I want to be able to express my happiness, my absolute lack of pain or emptiness or sorrow. But I can't. All I do is say 'Today is a great day. Everything feels so good.' Which doesn't sound nearly as good as 'The emptiness ate at me, chipping away my want for life, my want for a future, the desire to do or want anything. The feeling that you can't more forward, that you can't continue, that there was nothing to continue towards strangled you until you were nothing but a shell. An empty lifeless shell." I like reading what i write, but i can't read what i write cause I'm not writing anything. It's rather crappy. I want to sing from rooftops how appreciative I am for everything in my life. How many blessings have come my way and how absolutely LOVED I feel by my father in heaven. And that desire has led me write down a little story/experience I had.

In January I decided that I was going to go on a mission (I really decided in August of last year but I was fighting it, ALOT). A for real, out of state, away from family, read my scriptures, make sure I'm worthy, be terrified, bonafied mission.

I was.....scared...to say in the least.

And with my decision to go on a mission came my mission list. My Mission Bucket List (MBL) is a beautiful, but also daunting and highly improbable, list of things I would like to do before I leave my family (and hopefully [I think] the country) for eighteen months. Now on this list ranged the mundane, spend time with my family, to the extravagent, go to disneyland for four days and make a stop by the beach for four more days. And somewhere on this list (I would probably say the tippity top) was SEE MUMFORD AND SONS. They are my favorite band, hands down, I love them. Like my own child. Their success is better than my success. I cried when I saw that they got to play at the Golden Globes, yeah I know kinda weird. They are the ONLY band T-Shirt I own and I wear it as often as possible. If I was ever tempted to become a groupie it would be for them. I love them. Period.

So when I saw that they were playing at Coachella I was like...Um heck yes! But Coachella is mucho expensivo and kind of far and intimidating. But I was going to make it work! It was the ONLY gig they had in the US for 2011. Now me getting to Coachella, who would go, where i would stay, who i would stay with kind of was....tough. It was going to be expensive (can you say Missionary fund?) and I had no one to go with, except people I shouldn't go with (if you know what I mean). But I WANTED. NO! I NEEDED to go. It was on my MBL. Come on!

Well I was going to The Temple with the Singles Ward and decided why not pray about it (I was still struggling to convince myself a mission would be in my future and I needed to be there with it) so I stepped out of the main waiting area to the cute little court with the pretty water and trees and bowed my head. I pretty much said 'Lord, I want a mission, and I want Mumford and Sons, how do you feel?' I don't know what I was expecting (them to suddenly pop up and start playing 'I gave you all'? Maybe) but as I was praying, and really, really, trying to be spiritual and focus I got this feeling. This amazing, calming sensation (Whisper? Confirmation? Call it what you will) That everything was going to be okay. Everything. Mumford and Sons. A Mission. My future. Getting everything together and accomplished. It was all going to work out. Did that mean Coachella? I had no idea but I knew, KNEW, that no matter what I was going to be just fine.

And I have.

I got my paperwork done (with amazing ease btw) I got my interview done (still waiting on the stake president) and I'm reading my scriptures. I'm preparing myself to teach and preach and prepare and welcome people to this Gospel.

Coachella sold out (within like three weeks) but I wasn't that hurt. I don't know why. I wanted to see them, STILL WANT TO SEE THEM, but I was okay with it. I knew it wasn't meant to be and I would be just fine without them because if I needed to see them then the Lord would have made a way. I am going to throw out that M&S have posted other places they will be playing but it's like...New Orleans, and if i couldn't make it to California we all know i'm not going to make it to N.O.

Now I have had ALOT of other amazing and spiritual experiences since the Temple, all of which probably don't mean as much to you mere mortals but mean the WORLD to me, but this one is my favorite cause guess who is-FINALLY!-playing in Las Vegas?

Mumford and Sons.

And that right there is like one big thumbs up from the big guy up stairs.