I always feel like I'm the instigator.
That I make the first move (and even at that, I only do when I KNOW the other person likes me [or have a very strong inkling]).
And I don't want that today.
I want to sit back and let the other person do all the work.
I guesss I'm just better at keeping things light.
But not today.
Today I want them to charge ahead. I want them to spell it out. And I want to act surprised.
That is all I am asking of you today Universe.
Please let Mr. Hottie walk up to me and call me Mrs. Hottie.....And let Mission Prep be inspiring. But that one is more for you Lord.
Today I was called blind, but I'm okay with it cause he said Mr. Hottie is blind too.
"What's the worst that could happen?" I scoff. Did he really just ask that? What a married noob thing to say.
"What couldn't happen?! He could scoff at me or say something mean like 'Boys with butts like mine don't talk to women with guts like yours.' or Simply stare at me blankly before, you know, never talking to me again. I could get rejected in front of the WHOLE SINGLES WARD. Or I could simply lose his amazing friendship." But really it isn't his friendship but the fantasy of being with him that I'm scared of losing (whether by rejection or just really crappy reality, either or). And my boss stared at me before finally admitting "Alright, but your both still blind."
And two blind people never find each other.
Someone has to be the first to see. And today, I just don't want that person to be me..because this guy is different. I feel vunerable around him. Like, if this happened, he would have the upper hand. And that scares me. So I'm standing back, and letting him do the talking. Maybe one day I'll step forward and speak up, but definitly not today.
Maybe tomorrow.
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