My Serenity

I'm calm. Oddly calm. It's wonderful.


I feel like my head is swinging in a hammock in the Bahamas. My body on the other hand wants to run and dance, sprint even, shake and tumble. It wants to burn some serious energy. I want to go and walk eight miles and go home and crash. That sounds blissful.


But back to the calm.


My head has stopped. It's simply empty. And I love it. I wish my body would catch up. Normally it's the other way around, my body is always lazy, my mind doesn't normally just give up like this. I honestly wish it would more. I have no....expectation. And I mean that in the best possible way. I normally drain every possible thought and action with wants and desires for more. But I'm so content with everything that...it's like I'm high. I could sleep for days, mentally, physically I'm eyeing my back door to see how far I could walk. The store? The church? The mountains? The desert? Where would I stop? Never. I love it.


I'm high off of my interview. It's starting to stick. I'm going on a mission (well there is still people that could say no. Or I could always get hit by that drunk driver [according to my dad at least]) but if all goes well I will be leaving on my mission the Tuesday after my birthday, July 5, 2010. A day after my grandpas birthday and the birth of this wonderfully free nation. Where could I go? Where will I go? But my mind doesn't spin at the possibilities anymore. It smiles at them. It's like my mind just birthed a child after being pregnant for eight months, it's all smiles and no worries, it's just glad the baby is out. I've hit the eye of the storm. ha ha I like that. I should really enjoy this peace. Man I love this peace. It makes me weepy though. All I want to do is cry, but from joy. It's so bizarre.


But even at the bizarreness I just smile, I don't think I can't smile. I hope I'm like this on my mission. High off the spirit. High off the love. High off the knowledge.


I want this for the rest of my life. I want to say something profound to make everyone understand how this feels. To spread some of this warm liquid honey gold love onto you but I'm not much of a poet. But for you, I will try:


My heart is warm
You'll see
My heart is warm
For thee
Keep it warm, make it last
For this moment, it shall pass
And when it does our heart will quake
And from this dream we will wake
And search again for what comes from within
But don't look far, for our sight is wrong
And man not so strong
But He holds it in his hands
With a smile oh so grand
And gladly He gives it back
For his love He does not stack
And warmth floods through you again
And you remember exactly why you love Him.